Rock bottom. I pray it's a place you never have to see. I pray that unlike me you heed to the warnings, and walk in the Light instead of in darkness. I pray you don't let the temptation get the best of you and take you down a road you never intended to travel.
I once was so obsessed with having what I wanted, that I tuned God out altogether. I silenced His voice, and turned up my own. It didn't happen all at once. No, It was gradual, as most sin is. I trusted my feelings instead of the Truth. I mistook lust for love, and gave my heart to it. I put all of my hope into it and you know what? It let me down. I
I found myself praying, rather pleading, to God to do things for me that did not line up with His Word. I was convinced I knew best, and that's when it all fell a part. I took my life into my own hands, and it slipped through my fingers like sand. I lost it all, for a love that wasn't love. I tried to stay in a city and at a job that God had called me to leave. I gave my heart to someone who didn't know God and therefore couldn't love me, because he didn't know the One who IS love.
God didn't bring me to that low place, I did. But it was God who used the broken pieces of my life to build a new foundation for my faith.
I had nothing - I quit the job (finally), I left that city, and I let go of that relationship. I spent four months clinging to the only thing that remained - Jesus.
Though it's terrible place to be - stripped of everything - it's also beautiful. At rock bottom you find that Jesus is the true Rock, the only trustworthy foundation. It was in that season that God truly became my everything. I spent more time with Him than ever before and because of that I experienced His love like never before. I was devastated and clinically depressed, and He was gentle with me. I was stressed about being broke and He provided for me ( i'm talking random checks in the mail!). I needed a fresh start and He granted me an amazing job in a new city close to friends and family. I struggled to get over feeling like my heart was permanently broken, but He healed me. I never thought my heart could feel whole, that I could feel whole, but I do and it's truly a miracle.
When you know God has every right to hold your sin against you and leave you to suffer the full consequences - He doesn't. He gives us mercy and welcomes us back with open arms. He lovingly corrects us, but he doesn't shame us. He's good, in every sense of the word.
Sin's promises are empty, but God's promises are true. His love fills you and never leaves you empty. I still fall short in my faithfulness, but with God's help I will never again place my hope and faith in anything or anyone except HIM.
My friend, don't believe the lie. Don't be persuaded by the false yet appealing advertising. God's love is the only thing that fulfill you. Sin promises you authentic love, joy, and peace. But those things can only be found in God. Nothing that is separate from Him can truly give you the those things. In Him is life, peace, love, fullness of joy, and eternal blessings.
But if you do find yourself at the end of yourself and your entire world falling apart, I want you to know it will be okay. It won't be easy but if you let God be your rock, it will be worth it. Your pain will not be in vain. He is THE redeemer, the one who works all things together for the good of those who love Him according to His purpose. Trust Him and trust His process. It's for your good and His glory.