The Key to Enjoying Your Single Life

I know how difficult it can be to navigate life in a society that glorifies dating and relationships and minimizes singleness. It’s taken me years to become content with my single status. I use to endure it, but now I enjoy it - and that’s only by the grace of God.

If you’re struggling to enjoy being single, I want to help you. Here’s the secret that set me free: If you want to REALLY enjoy your single life, then you have to learn how to enjoy YOUR life.

Maybe, like me, you’ve bought into the lie that life doesn’t start until you’re married, but friend, that’s so far from the truth. Jesus didn’t die on the cross solely for those who would be married one day. God’s not waiting for you to have a ring on your finger to use you to impact this world and further His kingdom. There is so much God wants you to experience in this season.

John 10:10 tells us that Jesus came to give us life more abundant. That life is for the single, married, divorced, and widowed.

If you want to be married, that’s great - but what else do you want? What has God called you to do? What dreams has God placed in your heart? Now is the time to pursue those things. Ask yourself, “ Do I find my worth and purpose in being a wife or being in Christ?” Years ago my answer was the former, but now it’s the latter.
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If you find yourself answering the former, know that there’s no condemnation. We’re all a work in progress. Just make sure you’re working toward the right thing - wholeness in Jesus. Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 7 that a single person’s interest is undivided. They get to be completely focused on serving God. I know it’s hard and the hormones are real, but listen to me, God’s got you! You don’t have the relationship yet, but what you do have is Jesus. A relationship with Him is more fulfilling than any earthly relationship could ever be. If you want to enjoy your life right now, then I encourage you to do three things -

1) Discover Who God Made You To Be

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. - Ephesians 2:10

If you know me, then you know I love to travel. However, It wasn’t always my passion. Four years ago, God presented me with an opportunity to travel to Australia. During that trip, something awakened inside of me. I discovered a God-given passion not to simply see the world, but to see how God is working throughout the global Church.

I want you to ask yourself - Who am I becoming? Are you so focused on finding a mate that you’ve neglected finding yourself? Or your purpose? You weren’t created for marriage, you were created for God. Take this time to discover your purpose, deepen your intimacy with God, heal, change, and grow in confidence. Let Him transform you into the person He created you to be. Then, you won’t place your identity in a relationship or another person’s expectations. You’ll already know it’s rooted in Christ.

2. Surrender Your Plan and Timeline

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. - Isaiah 55:8-9

In my experience, the quickest path to frustration and discontentment is not embracing the season you’re in. Focusing on why you’re not married by 26 isn’t going to change God’s timing. It’s simply going to ruin your peace.

You may not understand God’s plan, but I can speak from experience that it’s for your good - ALWAYS. Instead of dwelling on what missed, self-imposed deadlines, devote yourself to being faithful where God’s placed you now. I’ve left jobs, moved cities, let go of friendships, all in faith and at the prompting of the Holy Spirit. It wasn’t easy, but I don’t regret it. Not once has God let me down.

In the end, His timing will make sense. But while you’re in the middle - choose to have faith and embrace the journey.

3. Realize that You’re Not Waiting to Be Loved

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. - Romans 8:6-8

You’re not waiting to be loved. YOU ARE LOVED. This was a big one for me. We may not have a significant other but you know what we do have? A God who loves each of us unconditionally, knows our sins and flaws, and accepts us anyway. He chose you before you chose Him. You don’t have to search for love, He gives it freely. You don’t have to seek out attention, God’s sees you. Get to know God as the lover of your soul, and give Him the chance to fill the voids in your heart.

Single Doesn’t Mean Less Than

Single may be your relationship status, but it is not your identity. You are a child of God, period. This world will try to define you by what you do and don’t have, but you don’t accept that as truth. I pray your courageous enough to embrace the story God is writing with your life, and be a living testimony that single doesn’t mean lonely, less than, undesirable or unwanted. It simply means single.