Are you worn out? Do you feel weighed down by everything you’re doing or trying to do? I was in the same position a few months ago, juggling so many things and trying my best to please God. It’s not that I was physically tired, more like emotionally and spiritually drained. I kept asking myself, “Why do I feel so tired?“. Then the Holy Spirit said to me, “You’re tired because you’re not resting.”

We all need rest. Without it, we’ll burn out. This principle is true spiritually just as much as it’s true physically. If you’re spiritually drained or overwhelmed it’s likely because you are not resting in God.

There came a time when I silenced God’s voice. When I stepped out of His will and followed my own desires. It began as discontentment, progressed to lying and secrets, and finally ended in depression.  Sin is like that, only showing you the pleasure, never revealing the consequence and pain. It promises you a high, but what you don’t see is depth of the fall. One sin always leads to another.  It starts off small, but ends in devastation.

Yesterday I woke up feeling empty, as if there was a hole in my chest the size of a crater. I felt sad and honestly I didn't know why.  But I should have.

Today (Feb. 17) is my late father's birthday. Before today, I can't remember the last time I cried on his birthday, but somehow the pain of losing him felt fresh as ever - like a wound that never healed. Except that it has. When I lost my dad I was 14 years old and was not a follower of Jesus. His death sent me into in depression  - a battle that lasted 10 years. At my worst, I was a shell of a person. 

Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. - Psalm 42:11

As I sat in my car reading this verse, my eyes filled with tears. "I don’t understand why I feel this way", I thought to myself. How is that I can have so much faith in God’s plan for my life and still struggle with a great amount of fear, doubt and worry? My spirit believes, but there are doubts in mind and fear in heart trying to convince me that this won't work out, it's not going happen for me, it's my fault, and I'm not good enough.