5 years ago today I made the best decision and most important decision of my life, I became a Christian. The time hasn't flown by, it's actually been equally slow, sweet, frustrating and tumultuous.
I was not raised in church but growing up my parents taught me about God. It wasn't until my junior of college that I finally stopped running from God, and surrendered to His love.
As I look over the last 5 years, I cannot believe how much my life has changed, how much I’ve changed.
Formerly, I was shy, insecure, depressed; trying my hardest to "fit in" but always feeling left out. I knew nothing about my self-worth and spent more time in relationships than I did single.
But God is a miracle worker. He took the broken parts of me and made them beautiful and whole. He's shown me that I am beautiful, loved, and created for a great purpose. In Jesus I've found fulfillment, indescribable joy, confidence to embrace my individuality, and freedom from depression and anxiety that ruled over me for 10 years.
All of this has taken a lot prayer and surrender. Spiritual discipline requires effort and practice. God is a miracle worker, but he isn’t a genie. Though I accepted Jesus as my Savior and surrendered my heart, surrendering my will for my life and walking in obedience was ( and is) a gradual process. Some weeks I moved forward by leaps and bounds, and other days I’d take 3 steps forward and two steps backward.
Through it all, God has been constant ( Numbers 23:19) (even when I took things into my own hands, ignored what the Holy Spirit was telling me, and things blew up in my face).
I don’t know that God is good, faithful, and compassionate ( Psalm 103:8-13) because I read my bible or attend church on Sunday. I know because I’ve experienced it, both in obedience and disobedience. God corrects and disciplines us, but once we are in Christ He doesn't condemn (Romans 8:1). He is gentle, patient, and forgiving.
I don't know where you are in your relationship with God but I can tell you this – Every situation you go through is an opportunity for you to experience a different part of God’s character. If you allow yourself to trust him with everything, you'll find that He is better than anything.
Take it one day at a time, and rest in His grace as you live out your faith. Your current struggles won't last forever. Soon you'll look back at your life and see that you’re no longer the person you used to be. You’ll realize how every disappointment and hardship developed your faith and your character (Romans 5:3-4).
Cling to the cross and embrace God’s plan – even the pain, discipline and uncertainty. It's molding you into the image of Christ, the person God created you to be (Hebrews 12:4-11).
Love and grace,