5 years ago today I made the best decision and most important decision of my life, I became a Christian. The time hasn't flown by, it's actually been equally slow, sweet, frustrating and tumultuous.
I was not raised in church but growing up my parents taught me about God. It wasn't until my junior of college that I finally stopped running from God, and surrendered to His love. As I look over the last 5 years, I cannot believe how much my life has changed, how much I’ve changed.
I am by nature the plan-my-whole-life-before-breakfast type. I trust God and want to follow His plan and timeline for my life. But if I can be honest with you, really honest… some days it’s just plain hard. It’s not until now that I relate to Galatians 6:9 -
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. “
They say hindsight is 20/20 and the older I get the more I find that to be true. I look back at my life, decisions and circumstances, and I'm amazed at how far God has brought me. A year ago my life looked drastically different in a number of ways. For one thing, I was head over heels in love with a guy I couldn't imagine my life without.
I prayed for things to work out between us, but they continued to fall apart. As I look back on those earnest prayers to God to save the relationship I'm a so grateful the answer was no.
As I walked in to the amphitheater I couldn’t help but feel self-conscious. I thought arriving early before the crowd would aid with this, but I was wrong. Everyone was either with a date, a family member, or a group of friends, and I was all alone. That wasn’t my plan, but it was the reality.
With eagerness I invited friends and acquaintances to join me, but either they weren't available or were disinterested. I soon realized that the only way I would be able to see this show would be to do so unaccompanied.
’m a few days late, but it’s finally spring and I couldn’t be more excited! Spring is the season of new beginnings. Days are longer, nights are warmer, and things that were once dormant and dead bloom back to life in vibrant color.
Like nature we too experience seasons. There are times in our lives that are filled with warmth, comfort and fun much like summers and times that feel cold like winters due to the loss of a relationship, loved one, or job, or a feeling of loneliness and isolation. For me spring represents a much needed time of joyful change
I’ve heard it said that happiness is based on what is happening around you. It is an emotion just like sadness, angry, and stress. Happiness can be fleeting if we let it, if we don't take control and fight for it.
Generally, I’m naturally an optimistic person. I see most situations as glass half full, but I’ve also had my fair share of sadness. Over the last 10 years I’ve battled depression for years at a time, both before I was a Christian and after I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior. My most recent episode happened about year ago and was my most severe to date. It was in the middle of what seemed like incessant darkness that I decided to make a declaration of how I would
Most recently, my greatest fear was sharing my blog. Why? Because it requires a certain level of vulnerability, and that scares me to my core. I’ve never been the type of person who talks about their feelings to anyone. I tend to keep things in, partly out fear of judgment and partly because I didn’t believe any else one cared to hear about my problems, fears, and insecurities.
So why go through with it? Let me explain...
I absolutely love that quote because it so accurately depicts our nature as people. In The Perks of Being a Wallflower the characters are speaking in the context of romantic love, but if I remove the word love the concept still holds true. “We accept what we think deserve.” More specifically, we accept what is familiar, normal, or safe.
When you think about it, we not only accept the love we think we deserve, we accept the life style, friends, significant other, job, and respect (or lack of), but why?
I don’t know about you but it seems like everyone around me is getting married. That's probably an exaggeration, but it definitely feels that way. With every scroll through my Facebook feed and invitation in the mail, I can’t help but wonder when it will be my turn.
Here’s a little background information on my love life. Prior to becoming a Christian, I was the girl who always had a boyfriend. Looking back, it’s not something I’m proud of, but it’s the truth. I liked having someone around to fill the void of loneliness.
