Tiffanie Butts

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Why I'm Not Ashamed to go Out Alone

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As I walked in to the amphitheater I couldn’t help but feel self-conscious. I thought arriving early before the crowd would aid with this, but I was wrong. Everyone was either with a date, a family member, or a group of friends, and I was all alone. That wasn’t my plan, but it was the reality.

With eagerness I  invited friends and acquaintances to join me, but either they weren't available or were disinterested. I soon realized that the only way I would be able to see this show would be to do so unaccompanied. I’m not going to lie to you, it was awkward and uncomfortable at first, but as the night progressed I became less insecure. The show was amazing. Being there – getting lost in the music – filled me with so much joy. I’m glad I didn’t let the  fear of being alone prevent me from going because it was one of the best nights of my year so far.

I wish it weren't so but there’s such a stigma in our society when it comes to aloneness. As if there is something wrong with not being surrounded by a group people or preferring to do certain activities by yourself.

There was a time in my life when I needed to have a social safety net, but that’s changed dramatically in the last few years. As I’ve gotten older I’ve developed a larger appetite for adventure. There are so many places I want to go, things I want to see, and events I want to attend, but I can’t always find a friend to join me. So I was faced with a decision. Either  miss out on experiences or live my life. I chose the latter.

I made a vow to live my life for myself and for God, to do what brings me joy, and not let anyone or anything get in the way of that. I’ve realized that it’s perfectly okay that I love genres of movies and music that my friends don’t like. It doesn’t mean that our friendship is weak because we don’t share every hobby.  There's no shame in being your own person and having interests apart from those in your social circle.

There’s a lot of life to experience and not a lot of time to do so. Community is necessary but there’s nothing wrong with flying solo once and a while. Try out a new restaurant, go to a networking event, attend 100 concerts, take a day trips – make yourself happy. In Christ there is freedom. Be confident in that freedom and don’t let insecurity, fear, or social stigmas dictate the way you spend this gift of life.

I’d be remiss if I did not encourage you to be safe and know your surroundings. I never venture out alone without praying for discernment and protection, no matter where I’m going and what time of day it is. Have fun but be safe!

Much Love,

Tiffanie