Struggling to be Happy and Content? Focus on this One Thing
Maybe your life doesn't need to change as much as your perspective does.
So many of us are unhappy and discontent because we’ve fallen into the trap of “I’ll be happy when…”. What is that “when” for you? Is it making more money, getting married, having children, having a successful business, or buying your own home? I’m not saying these things won’t bring you happiness, because they can. However, believing that they will be the ultimate source of your happiness; that they’re all you need to be content is a fallacy. Your desire for fulfillment is real, but it can never be satisfied with created things.
Learn to See the Bigger Picture
As followers of Christ, our pursuit shouldn’t be happiness, but joy and contentment. Happiness is based on what’s happening around you, it’s external. On the contrary, joy and contentment are internal. You can have them regardless of what you’re experiencing. You don't need the things you think you need to be content (or even happy). You need the right perspective.
Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.
James 1:2-4
Please understand that I’m not minimizing genuinely tough situations. Seasons marked by grief, loss, heartache, trauma are not my focus for this conversation. This is regarding discontentment with where God has you because it’s not where you want to be. The tedious, boring, mundane, or seemingly never-ending seasons of waiting and longing.
Western society has trained us to constantly consume, seek instant gratification, and always pursue more. We’re bombarded with the temptation to compare ourselves through social media and it’s ruining our lives. Comparison has convinced us that “their” grass is greener and that our life will be more fulfilling when [insert your deepest desire].
I challenge you to stop falling into that trap. There's a joy to be found right where you are - in the quiet, mundane, difficult, and waiting seasons. It’s different than the joy that comes when things are going the way you want. This type of joy seems less exciting, but it's also less fleeting. It's rooted in thanksgiving and a perspective that sees what God is doing versus what you're experiencing.
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
1 Thessalonians 5:18
Focus on God, Not Your Situation
Maybe you’re praying for God to change your situation and He hasn’t. I promise you He isn’t ignoring or abandoning you. He’s heard every prayer. The delay could be found in your perspective. At times, God will keep us in a situation until our perspective changes because when our perspective changes, our confession changes, and subsequently our actions.
Discontentment will distract you from what God is doing in your life. When you're stuck focusing on the future, you’ll be consumed by it, and you'll feel like God is keeping you behind. If you’re obsessed with comparing everyone else’s life to yours, you’ll become more focused on keeping up with them than staying in step with God.
Peace comes when we focus on God, not our situation. So ask yourself, “How's your perspective?”. Are you focusing on what you don't yet have, what you've lost, how impossible it seems, or how their life is compared to yours? Or are leaning in with a grateful heart - remembering the days when you prayed for what you have now, and thanking God for the ways he's healed, protected, delivered, and provided for you?
You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
Psalm 16:11
If we dwell on the future, we’ll be consumed by it. But when we dwell on God, we become consumed by Him. Our desires for attaining created things lessen, and the desire for our Creator increases. We find contentment and joy in who He is and not just what He gives.
Related Post: Where is Your Hope? Is it Strong Enough to Secure You?
What You Really Desire is God
We don’t want money, relationships, influence, control, etc… for their own sake. We want what they give - security, love, acceptance, and peace. If you truly want a better life then you have to stop pursuing created things and start pursuing God. What you really want is found in Christ. Love, peace, joy, provision, protection aren’t just things He gives, it’s who He is. It’s his very essence. He is also a father, provider, healer, sovereign king who holds the world in his hand. Through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, you receive all of it.
As a Christian, your life is no longer your own. You are called to deny yourself and crucify your flesh. Your life is no longer about what you can obtain, but how you can glorify God. Remember that when temptation comes knocking, or when thoughts of fear, comparison, or doubt creep. Remember your hope isn’t in this world or earthly life, but in the promise of eternal life in Christ. Keep your focus on eternity. That’s why we endure. That’s why the sacrifice and surrender are worth it. What will lose in this life doesn’t compare to what we will gain in the next.