A Father to the Fatherless - For Those Struggling on Father’s Day
This post goes out to anyone who finds father’s day hard to endure. Whether you never knew your father, he abandoned you, you have a rocky relationship, or he’s passed away - know that this day doesn’t have to be painful.
My dad passed away unexpectedly when I was in high school. It was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life and though I was blessed with a great father, I know the void that comes with not having one in your life.
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name. Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit.” - Psalm 147:3-5
Bottom line - it hurts. Emotions can range from rejection to confusion. If your dad’s not around you may wonder “Why doesn’t he stick around?” or “Why am I not enough for Him?”. If your relationship isn’t strong you may wonder “Does he really care?” or “Why am I the only one trying to make this work"?” If like me, you’ve lost your father, you simply long to hug and talk to Him. I don’t know which is your story and how deep your pain, but I do know a truth that can heal it - There’s a God who loves you more than you know, who died to heal you and show you the greatest love known to man. He’s a Heavenly Father who is perfect in every way.
“Father to the fatherless, defender of widows— this is God, whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy. - Psalms 68:5-6
It may be hard to see God as a loving and good father if you’ve never had an earthly father that was either of those things. You may also blame God for allowing this pain to be part of your story. Although what we’re experiencing isn’t good, God still is.
In order to see God for who He really is you have to stop looking at Him as an extension of your earthly father - no matter how great or awful he is. And if you truly desire to be healed from the hurt of not having your father around, you must be willing to acknowledge the pain and surrender it to Christ. That means confessing your hurt, grudges, and desire (or lack thereof) to reconcile, and asking God to show you what to do, and then doing it. Healing isn’t comfortable, but discomfort won’t last forever.
“God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?” - Numbers 23:19
The next step is to ask God to help you see Him as a good father. He knows your heart and won’t rebuke you for asking Him this. The bible tells us that God is a father to the fatherless. He is faithful to fulfill every promise he’s given. He doesn’t promise us a perfect, pain-free life, but he does promise to never leave or forsake us.
Take it from me. There’s not a day that I don’t miss my dad or wish He was here, but I can truly say my heart has been healed. God’s used friends, counseling, and one on one time with Him to do so. Today (Father’s day) wasn’t the struggle it used to be. I no longer feel incomplete because of what I lack. I feel loved because of what I have. The same is possible for you.
Time doesn’t heal all wounds, God does. Relationships, success, and control can’t fill your void, but God can. If you let Him, he will show you what a Good father is, and that you’ve had one all along.